New Year, Same Me.

2013.

Happy New Year!!! After being sad during my first single Christmas since I was in elementary school, I was determined to make the most out of New Years Eve. In reality I hate New Years Eve, I have never had a great one, and it is always over-hyped and then a huge letdown. I had convinced myself this year would be different. I had bought a table at my membership club and invited a group of single friends. Once I decided I wanted to go out but didn’t want to chase the party everywhere. I wanted to be in one spot – this was a guaranteed party.

I wasn’t feeling my best in the self-confidence department and knew the NYE staple look for most women, short and tight, was not my cup of tea this year. The party was black tie, and I decided to wear my new favorite dress that Sam had bought me on our shopping spree in Miami. The green flowing DVF dress that made me feel like I was wearing Halston. New Years is a lot like Halloween in respect that you can get away with wearing just about anything; regardless of your age or the weather.

The girls got ready at my place; I had hired one of my favorite makeup artist, Lisa G to do our makeup and hair. I had massive hair extensions that I wanted to wear and knew that it was more than I could tackle. I popped the champagne, opened some caviar, and the night had begun. They had transformed the club into an underwater adventure, and it was fantastic. The night, overall, was fun, and I am glad I wasn’t sitting home crying into my whiskey, but per usual though everyone was drinking. People were getting sloppy drunk, and I was wondering who would be my midnight kiss. As the countdown began we all raised our glasses and shouted at the top of our lungs; five, four, three, two, one, Happy New Years! I did end up having a midnight kiss, but it was a gay BFF, so it didn’t count actually.

I woke up the next morning only slightly hung over and highly disappointed. Though I acknowledge that New Years is always a let down I love the idea of a new year. It was always exciting to me to think about being able to set new goals, feel refreshed, take a step forward in time without looking back- it was exactly what I needed this year. I was ready to tackle 2013 like a boss! So, of course, when I woke up I expected to wake up feeling like a whole new me; New Year, new me-, right? Nope, not the case. New year, same me. I laid in bed and stared at my chandlier on my ceiling.

The past year had been monumental. Maybe it wasn’t in the way I hoped and planned for but it was life changing. I talked to myself for a good hour saying things like; “you might not feel different today, but you never know what tomorrow brings!” And, “This is the first day of a new year, and anything can happen.” Then I had a bright spot, a light bulb went off. My divorce would become final with the state of California this year! California has a six-month statute of limitations and thought I didn’t know the exact date, I knew it would be sometime in 2013. That was something I could get excited about!

I had a brief thought of wondering what my x-did on New Years Eve and that lead me to think about New Years Eve 2012.

We had been invited by friends to Napa to attend a dinner party of a very chic couple that we knew through friends. It was a very grown up civilized dinner party, just how I like it. My husband had two friends that didn’t have plans, and he thought it was totally appropriate to invite them and their dates to come along. I thought it was completely and totally rude, and I could NOT believe the idea had even crossed his mind. We were basically guests of guests, and I was not about to invite more guests! He ended up asking the hostess because I refused. Being the gracious woman that she is, she suggested that they come after dinner to ring in the new year- as the dinner table was full. The two of my husbands friends that I am referring two were work colleges and close friends. I always had liked them, but when they showed up with “dates” that, I am fairly sure, were paid by the hour I decided I was not such a fan. I had never been so embarrassed, and I wanted to kill my husband!

At midnight grew near I decided to put it behind me and kiss my new husband at midnight! I was so happy; a new dress, new lipstick, and a new husband. It was my most perfect New Years Eve to date.

The next morning we went to breakfast with our hosts, loaded Jet into the car and headed back to the city. I was excited to have spent the quality time together with my husband even if it was just a few days. We were still newlyweds, and I would take all the time with him I could get. The day after Christmas, he had received an “urgent” call to from his boss. It seemed a group of workers at the company were preparing to strike, and they were pulling all the executives together for an off-site to come up with a plan to avoid it. It was urgent and had to be taken care of before the end of the year. In reality, he was spending time with Kathy. I would later learn he spent four nights six blocks from our home in a hotel with her and their dog. From the photos, I would later find on Facebook it seemed they had a wonderful time. Eating out, at our favorite places, seeing the tree in Union Square, working out together… It was just lovely. Thinking about it today makes me laugh. It is like Sliding Doors; one moment could have changed everything. Had I crossed the street at a different time, maybe I would have bumped into them or if a friend had said, “let’s go to dinner at Zuni.” I could have been seated next to them. I don’t know why I never caught them together, but it is fun to fantasize about what I would have said! It is definitely not rated PG.

Single & Stylish,

xx Keylee

I have never met a DVF piece I didn’t love, or at least like. The green dress Sam bought me is still one of my favorite gowns. The latest collection is no exception! Here are a few of my current favorite pieces.

*All of the events I have written about in the above and previous posts are about me, my life, my experiences and from my point of view.

© Keylee Sanders, Style Studio LLC and KeyleeStyle.com, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Keylee Sanders, Style Studio LLC and KeyleeStyle.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Home, But Feeling Alone.

December 20, 2012- Journal Entry

I am on the airplane home to Kansas. LAX is filled with happy children, families and couples rushing home for the holidays to greet their families and celebrate the season. It is also filled with a lot of grumpy travelers and screaming children, but I am trying to see the good in things lately. As happy as I am to see my family I am counting the days till I am back on a plane and heading to LA.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be with my family; I adored them and still do. My sister, father, mother, and brother-in-law were my rocks. I just didn’t want to celebrate a holiday alone. Being single is hard, being single for the first time at the holidays is torture. All of the children opening gifts, reminding me of the children I don’t have and the questions from people I only see once a year. The only bright spot was that my seven-year old niece asked to sleep with me on Christmas Eve, I love Christmas Eve, and I really didn’t want to sleep alone. We cuddled in bed and talked about Santa; it might have been my favorite moment in months! I didn’t want to spend the holiday with my x husband, but I also didn’t to be alone. I know I wasn’t literally alone I was surrounded by people who love me, but in my head, I was alone. This is not how Christmas 2012 was supposed to be!

Mimosas and pancakes were a tradition for my x husband and I, for some reason I decided to keep it alive. I think it was mostly the fact that I would use any excuse to drink during the day. On Christmas morning, my mother, father and I woke up some ungodly hour, like 5am, we would get in the car and drive to my sister’s house to open gifts. I brushed my teeth, pulled on my Uggs, grabbed my coat, a bottle of champagne and laid down in the back seat. Though it was only 100 yds across the driveway to my sisters, I didn’t have it in me to be jolly.

As gifts were passed out by my beautiful nieces, I noticed a few that I didn’t recognize. As I looked at the tags, one was from my husband. Ugh, really? After everything, he sent me a Christmas gift? I tried to pretend the gift wasn’t in my stack and then in some moments I pretended it was from someone else. I decided I would open his gift last. The real distraction was a mystery gift; it was from a handsome guy I went to college with, Peter. I met Peter through my first husband when we were in college. He and I were Facebook friends and had seen a post I made on about something I loved. I unwrapped Peters gift first; I couldn’t imagine what it was. As I unwrapped the package, I could see it was this incredible fashion book I had posted about, I couldn’t believe it was under the tree. I hadn’t seen Peter in years, and though we talked over Facebook now and then I was really surprised. It was a very sweet gesture from an old friend.

After I opened every other gift in my pile, and I had one left, the one from my x. I sat there and starred at the gift. In my family we go around in a circle, everyone opening each gift one by one. I made everyone skip me for several turns. Finally, I didn’t have a choice but to open it. An ornament, big blown glass ball with a note that I didn’t care to read, and a camera. A camera? It was a very nice camera, in my favorite color red, but it was just odd. Whatever.

After we opened gifts in true Sanders tradition, my sister fixed a big breakfast of pancakes, hash browns (the best you will ever have), bacon, eggs, French toast; just about anything you could want. I had a piece of bacon and opened my bottle of champagne. What I really wanted to do was crawl into bed.

This year was going to be special; we had spent last Christmas with his family because it was so soon after our wedding. This year I was going to wake up Christmas morning with my husband at my parent’s house and have a really full family Christmas. It was important to me that we would be with my family, and they would finally know that this man was serious about me and our future. Instead of the happy holiday I had always pictured; I was sad. Yes, I was with my family, and it was great, but it wasn’t what I bargained for or what I had dreamed about. I was alone, and it hurt. My whole body hurt. My head hurt; my muscles hurt, my heart hurt.

Later in the day my sister’s in-laws and family came over, I lasted about 20 minutes. I soon told everyone I was going to run over to my mom and dad’s to get something. What I was “getting”, was into my pajamas and then under my covers? I slept most of the day.

The funny part was it wasn’t like this was my first Christmas alone in the past few years. My husband had left me alone for Christmas, along with various other holidays, on and off during our entire relationship. Yes, I know that is one of those statements that makes everyone say, “how did you not know something was going on?” Trust me, I have asked myself this questions more times than I can count
But, this holiday was different… We were supposed to be together; we had plans. It was the first time in a long time that I had felt such sadness. When was this roller coaster going to stop? It felt like this would be the only feeling I would ever have.

Single & Stylish,
xx Keylee

I can’t believe that I am posting this and I don’t in any way endorse someone wearing them like regular shoes but every once in awhile nothing feels better on your feet than Ugg’s! When I went to link this post to the page I couldn’t believe all the cool styles they now make! Here are some acceptable styles!

*All of the events I have written about in the above and previous posts are about me, my life, my experiences and from my point of view.

© Keylee Sanders, Style Studio LLC and KeyleeStyle.com, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Keylee Sanders, Style Studio LLC and KeyleeStyle.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

All About The Lips.

Happy New Year!!! I had to take some time off the blog due to my schedule while styling a film, which is going to be amazing by the way! I am back and the blog will continue on its regular schedule. The story will catch up quickly and will back on track to two years ago before you know it!

I will be adding things to the blog in 2015 that will be informative, honest, tip giving, emotional and fun. Beauty, dating, men, women, style, travel, life… you will find a little bit of everything all with my usual Keylee Style flair. Please feel free to comment on any of the posts on my social media channels and share the blog with anyone, and everyone, you can!

I hope everyone is having a beautiful start to 2015!!!

And now onto the next part of my story…….

Continue reading

Christmas Emergency! The Best Last Minute Beauty Gifts.

Girls love to find a little beauty treat under the Christmas tree. Let’s face it, none of us really #wokeuplikethis! In case you are still looking for a last minute gift for a lady in your life, here are a few of my favorites!

Moodstruck 3D Fiber Lash Mascara
Readers know how much I love this mascara so of course I think it makes a wonderful gift! Get the look of false eyelashes with a few strokes of the brush- no glue required!
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Hollywood Fashion Secrets Stylette
This stylish little bag is perfect for the desk at the office, handbag, locker, suitcase, car, etc. A mix of everything you could need in an just about any fashion emergency!
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Sephora Superstars
The best of the best! All of the glam-worlds favorites come together in one fabulous gift!
sephora sampler

Chubby Stick Travel Set
I love the gloss and feel of these chubby lipsticks! Travel sets are the best to try a new product or color and they come in a great mini cosmetics bag!
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Deborah Lippmann 15th Anniversary Polish Set
Nail polish to the stars, Deborah Lipman makes the most fun colors for every season and occasion!
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With only a few days left to shop you won’t want to wait to order! Start moving that mouse!

Happy Shopping,

xxx Keylee