The Sexy Solution. It Is All About The Eyes!

As a single girl when I am going out for the night, I pay close attention to every detail.  My make up is perfect, but not over done.  My outfit is sexy and chic without looking like I am trying to hard and my hair is the perfect combination of I just had a blow out and I just had sex in the parking garage.  The only wildcard factor on a night out is what time I will get home…. Midnight? 2am? 7am?  9am? (Thank goodness for Uber).  All of the above are possibilities and if it is after 2am I most likely will not be waking up alone!  The good news is that when that happens and I have no idea where I am, I still know I look great and here is why.  I pack the essential in my clutch: travel size eyeliner (really it is just a pencil that is at the end of it’s use so it is short and fits in my clutch), 1 eye makeup remover pad in a tiny zip lock (think of the type a jeweler uses), a wisp, and of course sunglasses- along with all the usual suspects (cash, cards, ID, mints, etc).  Take note: no proper lady can leave an undisclosed location at 7am without sunglasses!  Yet, with all these precautions and planning, until now, I could never pull off that “I just wake up looking this sexy and flawless” look that Instagram is full of these days!   Now I have the secret.   A secret I will share with you if you promise to share it with every woman you know- come on ladies we have to stick together!

I am always looking for beauty fixes that have the balance of making my life easier, improving my appearance and are worth the time.  At my age I have a long list of self- maintenance items to check off, so if I am going to add something to that list it better be worth it; trust me this is!

Lashfully_BeverlyHills_0554

Eyelash extensions!  I know, not a revolutionary concept but the way they are done at Lashfully is revolutionary!  I have had lash extensions in the past, they were; heavy, very expensive, hard to maintain, and too time consuming.  All things I hate.

Lashfully is none of that and all fabulous.  Here is why:

-       They use synthetic mink lashes that range in thickness to fit your natural lash perfect and are light as air!  No heavy lash feeling even when they are wet.

-       The adhesive is surgical grade, the same thing a doctor would use, so even the most sensitive eyes will be just fine.  Beware: if someone tells you the adhesive/ glue is 100% natural or organic, they are lying.  It is not possible for glue to be 100% natural or organic- only produce has that ability.

-       Lashfully has a super chic space and they offer you goodies when you arrive and you will fill more glamorous just being in the space.

-       Lashfully is more than just lashes!  Makeup application, brow services, they offer a range of fun things to get you looking your most beautiful for a special night or an ongoing basis!

Let me break it down for you.  This summer all you need is a healthy glow, bronzer or blush, lip gloss and lashes!  It takes me less than 5 minutes to do my makeup when I have my lashes on.  You will look glam at the gym, without being one of those weird girls who actually wears full makeup to the gym.  Your lash specialist will help customize a look just for you, shout out to Bella at the Beverly Hills salon!  You pick the length, thickness, and amount of curve for a 100% custom look.  Average application is over 100 lashes (yes, you have that many natural lashes) and your looks can range from natural to drag queen and everything in between!

I went for a natural yet fabulous look, here are my before and afters:

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Amazing right!!!  The best part is when you call for your appointment and tell them that you read about Lashfully on the KeyleeStyle blog they will give you a special discount on lash application and other services!

Two locations: Beverly Hills & San Francisco.  Don’t worry they will soon be global, I am sure of it!  Now go get lashed!

Single & Stylish,

xx Keylee

ps. On a side note; I love that this company was started by two kick ass women!

I Wanted Him To Leave Me.

I soon found myself in a grey area, nothing was black or white, just grey and I was more confused than ever.  I was continually bumping into friends that would ask me about my “breakup” and when I gave them just the minimal amount of information needed they would say some version of this; “OMG, I know exactly how you feel, my boyfriend/ husband/wife/ girlfriend cheated on me too!”   Is that what happened?  Was I cheated on?  I had been cheated on before and this is not what that felt like.  In high school my football player boyfriend was cheating on me with one of my good girlfriends and then in college my boyfriends phone accidentally picked up in his pocket and I could hear him making out with another girl.  That was gut wrenching,  each time I ate a bag of potato chips drank too many vodka soda’s and cried with my girlfriends for a week.  That was not what this was.  No amount of chips or vodka was going to fix this.  This felt like I had been ripped apart limb from limb by some medieval torture device and left in the middle of the highway to bleed to death.   I was not, am not, trying to minimize anyone else’s story, being cheated on is awful, horrible, and should be punished by the removal of genitals using only cuticle clippers, but cheating?  That what not what this was.

From my journal:

“Confusion- it’s all I feel.  My head and heart say two different things.  My head knows I can never go back to him and my heart yearns for the life we had and the life I had in my mind.  I am taking it day by day and some days I don’t know if I will make it.  Some days I feel strong, but most all days I am sad.  Sad about the life that won’t be, sad that he is hurting, sad that I am so broken, sad that I assumed things that I don’t know if they are true and then I feel rage.  Rage that I am in this place, rage at myself for not seeing what was in front of me.  I want to hate him, I want him to leave me- that would be easier.”

It was true and I still feel that way.  I wanted him to leave me.   Tell me that he was madly in love with Katy and ride off into the sunset with her. That way I would at least know that someone would be happy, someone would be getting what they wanted and all of this hurt and pain would have had some purpose!  That was not at all what happened, instead it was like a bomb exploded and as I looked around I saw nothing but total destruction of my life.  Everyone was in pain.  For some reason seeing him in pain was one of the hardest parts.  I hadn’t hit the anger stage yet and knowing that he was hurting, even half as much as I was, killed me.  I wanted to hate him, but I didn’t’ want him to hurt.

Having been in LA a week or so I headed back to the mountains to see friends, after a lot of late nights partying and a lot of fun I woke up one day and knew I had to get back to LA and start my life.   I had avoided being a grown for as long as I could.   I had decided I needed to move out of my friends place and try and stand on my own two feet.  I had nothing stable in my life; no work, no home and no relationship.  I was at a tipping point and I knew what I needed to do.  I had to make something in my life stable.  Each time I ran into an old friend in LA they always asked how they could help.  Ninety-nine percent of the time I smiled my fake smile and said “oh nothing, thank you so much for offering, I will be fine.”  When I ran into a friend who was a fabulous Beverly Hills real estate agent at the gym one day and I decided to ask for help.  Soon we were looking at apartments and I started to feel like I could see a small speck of light at the end of a very long dark tunnel.

With in two days I found a fantastic little place in West Hollywood that made me feel like I was living in a hotel suite (my secret dream in life)!  It was a mid-century building and my tiny little slice of heaven over looked the pool surrounded by palm trees. It was a dream.  I could feel myself starting to be a tiny bit settled and that was a wonderful thing.  I didn’t really have much to move; clothes, jewelry and personal items mostly. I asked my husband for my couch and bed that we had moved into the Santa Barbara house when we moved to San Francisco.  He agreed and then proceeded to send the couch and bed to me in an open air pickup truck with two delivery men, my white velvet couch and mattress riding down the highway gathering who knows what!  I was livid but decided it was easier to have them cleaned then to make a big deal about it.  I was just happy and thankful to have furniture.

The next week I made the always-dreaded trip to Bed, Bath and Beyond.   When you had a cart as loaded as mine it was like a large blinking neon sign with an arrow, She’s Starting Over.   As I was standing there picking out a silverware tray for my kitchen drawer it hit me.   It was like that book title that Charlotte, from Sex and The City, is too scared to buy standing in Barnes and Noble; Starting Over Yet Again.  I looked around, surly I wasn’t the only one going through this it’s LA, people start over all the time!   As I looked around to find someone to give me even the slightest bit of comfort I found that on one side was a happy couple registering for there wedding and the other was a beautiful pregnant lady picking out new placemats in spring colors and then there was me… starting over yet again.   We had been separated for months, how is this whole thing still shocking to me?  Somehow it was.  Somehow I had to figure out how to face it all and I would, but that moment was not the moment I was going to face it all with grace.  I started to get choked up, soon my eye were burning.  I knew what was going to happen, I was going to loose it at any moment and their was nothing I could do.  I really needed the items I had in my cart but I could feel the waterworks building up and I could tell it was going to be a hell of a show.  It was like I needed to wear a sign pinned to my shirt so people didn’t think I was just a crazy lady crying in silverware aisle.   It would read “Don’t worry, I am fine, just crying because my husband has a double life.”  But I didn’t have that sign and I was about to be the crazy lady crying in the silverware aisle, before I knew it I was pulling out my sunglasses and ditching my cart practically running to my car.  I sat in my car for about 10 minutes and cried, finally I pulled it together, kept my sunglasses on and went back to find my cart right where I left it!  God bless lazy retail workers that felt no need to put my items back!  Victory!  I had managed to get everything I needed.  Once I got everything packed into my car, I cried the whole way home.

That day was a tiny step in a forward direction.  I knew it was small but it was all I had.  I went home, unloaded my car by myself and sat on my dirty white velvet couch, opened a bottle of wine and ordered Chinese take out.   As I finally fell asleep I repeated over and over in my head; tomorrow will be a better day, tomorrow will be a better day, tomorrow will be a better day…

Single & Stylish,

xx Keylee

The good news about starting over is that you can decorate your new place anyway you like, dirty white couch and all!  Here are a few fun spring items for your home!

 

*All of the events I have written about in the above and previous posts are about me, my life and my experiences.

© Keylee Sanders, Style Studio LLC and KeyleeStyle.com, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Keylee Sanders, Style Studio LLC and KeyleeStyle.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

I Needed A Hit.

Love and Choices.  We make 100’s of choices everyday.  What to eat, what to wear, what emails to answer, whether we are going to have another glass of wine after work (or a bottle), who to sleep with, what route to take to the office, who your friends are going to be, etc etc.  Some choices are big and some are small, some are life changing while others don’t really affect us at all.   Part of being an adult is admitting when you have made a bad choice, accepting responsibility for the choice you made, hopefully learning from it and moving on with your life taking your new knowledge and past experience with you.

At times Americans take a lot of choices for granted and when we make the wrong choice we often like to place the blame with others.  Admitting a choice is wrong or that we have fucked up is not easy to do, especially when it affects those around us or those we love. Having the choice of who to love is not even an option for women in many parts of the world.  My parents would have picked a suitable young man with something to offer and married me off.  At times I have thought how much easier that would have been, just kidding of course!   Making the choice of who to love might effect our life more than anything else.  Admitting when that is a wrong choice, to ourselves and our circle, is one of the hardest things to fess up to, but can be very powerful at the same time.

I have made very few choices in my life I regret, deciding to get continuous spiral perms as a girl tops that short list, but I have never regretted saying I love you.  I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason and we can learn something from every situation.  Some times we make choices that are right for us in the moment not giving a lot of thought to the future and what the fall out might be.  Sometimes falling in love with someone isn’t even really a choice.

That night in the cab with Jaxton I knew I had a choice to make.  I knew in that moment he was probably not going to be the answer to the problems in my life, but he could be the solution to what I needed right then.   To be honest I had no real grasp on what I needed in my life but I knew what I wanted in that moment.  I wanted to feel loved and I needed to feel wanted.

Saying I needed to feel loved sounds so lame.  I know it is a basic human need but it isn’t like I didn’t have love in my life.  I had great friends who were supper supportive and a family that was amazing!  Every therapist I have spoken with starts off by asking about my childhood.  Granted nothing in life is perfect but I had a great a childhood with wonderful parents who loved and supported my sister and I in everything we did.  I was raised on a ranch with animals and lots of land that led to fun and adventure.  I had all of the things growing up a girl could ever want.  My parents traveled with us, they showed up to ever school event to cheer us on, I had a lots of friends, I was not short on love in my life overall.  What I have learned is that love comes in all shapes and forms.  Looking back my husband (both of them and several boyfriends) and I said I love you to each other all the time.   Every morning before he went out the door, at the end of our phone calls, at night before we went to bed but looking back did I ever really feel loved?  Saying I love you is just words.   Once I learned my life was not the truth I thought it was it made me question; was any of that love ever true, was it real?   I have had a LOT of time to examine myself in the past few years and a lot of therapy and I have learned that a lot of the time not feeling loved (for anyone) comes from within, not from another person.  I now see this so clearly, but remember there is a huge difference in the love of your family and friends and the love of an intimate partner.  Your parents have loved you from the moment you came into this world and will love even when you leave this world.  In relationships it all has to start with you.

I dated a guy, Andrew, a while back that asked me how many people I had loved in my life, really, truly loved (other than family and friends).  I just sat there and looked at him with a blank stare!  For some crazy reason I couldn’t answer that question.  For me love has so many levels and layers, it is so unique and different in every situation.  Real or not, one sided or mutual it is all love in some form or another, right?   Sometimes it just looks different than we think it is going to look and sometimes we know that love exists without ever saying it out loud.

I had made the choice to say I Love You each time in my life, no one ever “forced” me to say it, but did I always mean it?  I had made the choice to get married, twice, was it the right choice?  I was now at a point in my life that made me question everything I knew and did.  And it wasn’t just about love or who to love, every decision I made I questioned.  What if I made the wrong choice again?  Loved the wrong person?  It got so out of control at one point that I couldn’t make a decision on what to wear, what lipstick put on, what to have for lunch even.  It all made me feel crazy!  How could I not be able to make a simple daily choice?  I had graduated college with honors, was running two companies at once, had founded three businesses during my career and as a stylist I made major decisions for other people everyday.  I felt truly out of my own body and mind, I knew I had to find a piece of love and quick!  My hope was that if I could get a hit of love I would start to feel more sane.  It would be a short term fix.

That night with Jaxton riding in the cab I was very confident about my decision.  I wanted to feel close to someone, someone I could trust.   The one thing about Jaxton is in the 10 plus years we had known each other he has never pretended to be anything other than exactly what he is.  Most guys, and girls, try to be perfect in the beginning and promise you the world.   The great thing about him was that when we met I was married to my first husband and he and I were just friends, so he was just authentically who he is.  I got to know the real him, flaws and all, from day one and vice versa for him with me.  I never not trusted him.   Not to say that he hasn’t bruised my heart a few times but trust has never been an issue with us.  It is one reason I think we have been in each other lives for so long.

That next morning I began to think, could this be it?  Is this what I have waited for?    Maybe Jaxton and I will finally have our opportunity to be together with no complications or confusion.  Are we finally going to find out if what we have spoken about, and I had dreamed about, so many times could be true?   In that moment I let all the shit in my life and drama I was dealing with float away and I drifted into the fantasy about a time in my life when I would be in a stable place with a man I loved and trusted.   Maybe this is what it was all for and my past was part of my journey.  Was Jaxton that man and this that relationship?  Was he my future?   In that moment I wanted a knight in shining armor on a white horse and so I let myself think it could be him.

Single & Stylish,

xx Keylee

Who doesn’t love love?  Here are a few fun ways to show your love of love through fashion!

*All of the events I have written about in the above and previous posts are about me, my life and my experiences.

© Keylee Sanders, Style Studio LLC and KeyleeStyle.com, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Keylee Sanders, Style Studio LLC and KeyleeStyle.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

Open Letter. Intuition.

Open Letter to My Readers:

Many people have asked why I decided to share my story.  I in no way feel I am an expert on men, relationships or life.  I write about my experiences and my life from my point of view- thats it.  When I decided to write my story I knew that I would be exposing a very personal side of my life but feeling that if one woman could learn from my story and one less heart could be broken then it was all worth it.  Since the day I started writing about this very personal subject I have received nothing but support, love and encouragement- which I am eternally thankful for.   I have exposed a very real side of myself and sadly too many women (and men) can relate.  People from all over the country, some I know and some I don’t, have reached out to share their story and ask (some have begged) that I keep writing.  Duh, of course I am going to keep writing, part 11 will be published next Monday. This week I wanted to take a pause and explain why I write about my life and my escapades- other than it is very therapeutic and entertaining!

The one thing every single woman who has reached out has said is, I wish I had listened to my intuition.  That is it, right there- that is why I started writing.   Hearing other women say they wished they had listened to their own intuition is heartbreaking for me.  That is the exact same thing I have said over and over to myself in the mirror.   So I know exactly how it feels to learn of betrayal while feeling you betrayed yourself at the same time,  I know how you beat yourself up for not listening, and how foolish you feel when you learn the truth about someone- especially someone you loved.  The moment I learned to trust myself again and listen to that voice deep inside, my whole world opened up and piece by piece I started to heal.  I had very strong intuition growing up, I never doubted myself or my choices but being in a toxic relationship slowly chips away at this ability and before you know it you have completely strangled that voice inside. So this letter is to say just that. Listen to that little voice inside you. Do not knock the red flags down.  Trust yourself, you know what is best for you.  When you listen to that inner voice/ intuition you can never go wrong.

That is why I am writing the blog.

Single and Stylish,

Keylee

Note from me: Sorry for the delay in todays post.  I walked out on my faux marriage over two years ago and I am still learning additional twists and turns to the story of my life.  It is amazing the lengths people will go to to cover up lies and deceit.   Let me just say in closing that the plot has thickened.  Happy Reading!

*All of the events I have written about in the above and previous posts are about me, my life and my experiences.

© Keylee Sanders, Style Studio LLC and KeyleeStyle.com, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Keylee Sanders, Style Studio LLC and KeyleeStyle.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.